Jogger ratings downgraded to walker ratings

So I take this job seriously and I set out to find unimportant but entertaining commentary on Beach Access 31 version 2.0.

I can tell you that the mirror problem seems to correct itself in cooler weather. Folks seem to buy appropriately sized fall clothing.

I can tell you that the only surfers in October are good ones (pleasant to watch but fewer chances of equipment malfunction - like losing the swimsuit).

I can tell you that everyone is pale if not a Pale by October.

What I can't tell you is a good scoring rubric for joggers here as too many folks were walking around with Thrasher's fries to get their jog on. I can, however, give you a new rating system for walkers on the boardwalk.

First, I should give a little background. The folks hosting our conference drove us to either 28th street or 16th street in order for us to march down the boardwalk in matching blue t-shirts with the intention of meeting at 1st street.

The catcher-uppers: my colleague and I had to start from beach access 31 (obviously) so we didn't take the bus and had to hoof it to catch the group. We were by FAR the fastest walkers of the crowd (even in bare feet since I forgot to pack sneakers and walked through burrs to catch up).

The regulars: these folks clearly walk on a nightly basis. They keep a decent clip, carry a water bottle instead of fries, and generally look like they enjoy walking in the ocean air. They are also the most challenging to catch up to if you start with a 3 block walking in the burrs and sand until you reach the boardwalk deficit.

The wannabes: they start out fast but fade. Unlike the joggers on our other post, these folks have plenty of distractions to make it look like they didn't intend to walk the entire way at one clip (several came back with fake tattoos and hair braids).

The ice cream walkers: similar to those with Thrasher fries. This bunch just came out because they heard ice cream was at the end of the walk. All of these folks started out on 16th street and thought the ice cream stand was at 15th street. By 8th street, I heard one woman MOAN, "my calves can't take this anymore."

Well America, the joke goes:
Lady to doctor: "Obesity runs in my family"
Doctor to lady: "Face it lady, nobody runs in your family."

I have to come back to this beach access again in late November. I will bring updates.

And again, Wanda Louise and extended family who cannot pick out pseudonyms, Phi and family miss you!