Conversation: The crunchy washing machine edition

This was an e-mail "conversation" with my Dutch friend who is moving back to the Netherlands for no good reason and looking to get rid of a few things from her US abode.  Read carefully.

"Dutchie":  The Dutchie is moving and needs to get rid of some things that either don't fit or won't work in our house in the Netherlands.

First of all I have a beautiful round table for sale. It's 89" in diameter (226cm), 30" tall in solid walnut and walnut veneered furniture grade plywood, clear finish, 2-piece top, skirt, 4 legs.

And a wonderfully faithful non-crunchy washing machine. Samsung Steam 4,5 Cu. front loader power foam, in onyx color.

[now I need to put a quick note in here, because you might think the humor in this post is because she's thinks that any of us have room for a round table that is 89" in diameter!!  It sounds even bigger in metric!  Surprisingly that's not even the funny part of this conversation.]

Wanda Louise:  I’m not in the market for either, but I’m really wondering what a “non-crunchy” washing machine is.

Dutchie:  Haha! A machine with the crunchy spiral in the middle...

Wanda Louise:  WHATTT?????  Crunchy spiral?

Dutchie:  Lol! So what's the proper word for the weirdest washing machine ever invented by men?  And 'crunchy' because it crunches up your laundry. So much even it sometimes comes out ripped!

Wanda Louise: Oh this makes me laugh!!!   I think it’s the “agitator" you’re talking about? Does it look like this?

Dutchie:  YES! That's it. The thing drives me nuts! Love my front loaders! And the machine warms the water, makes a difference in cleaning too.

Anyway, I have to keep on coming up with things I like better about the Netherlands in order for me to make the move back more acceptable....

Wanda Louise:  You know this is turning into a blog post, right?

Dutchie:  Can't wait for the blog!!!!

[Here it is my Dutch friend!  Don't move!  Stay here!  We need you!]